Public Parks as Private Spaces- A Uniquely Indian Paradox

Anybody who goes for a stroll in the few public gardens of our large cities will have faced this phenomenon. Hormone charged young couples “hiding” behind bushes and the fake concrete-wood machaans and other structures, satisfying their carnal instincts. Most private of acts being carried out in public spaces. I would like to call it a nuisance. But I hesitate. What I see in it is a uniquely Indian phenomenon.

Most of us would agree that as a society we have relegated sex, both the act and any other expression of it, to the most private of realms. So private are we about it that we would like to deny its existence and most young couples blush at the mention of having children as it implies that they have committed “the act”. But paradoxically, our youth is forced to take this very private act to the most public of places- our gardens, historical tourist spots, cinema halls and corners of restaurants.

Perhaps the main reason for this paradox lies in the cramped housing situation in most cities and complete lack of privacy in homes as a result. A youth cannot (unlike in the West) bring a girlfriend home and spend some “cozy” time with her in his room. Even newly married and older couples rarely have rooms to themselves and are forced to seek out the anonymity of public places to spend some intimate time with each other.

So whether it be Nehru Garden near Delhi University or the open façade of Marine drive, when our youth makes out in a public place they may not have the blanket of privacy but have the cover and comfort of anonymity. You see it brings up the age old issue- does a tree in the forest really fall if no one hears it falling. Just something to think about in the most populous nation of the world.

Rediscovering Your Siblings

I have a younger brother and a sister. Growing up we did not spend too much time together. My sister and I went away to a boarding school when our brother was very young. Even we were together there was very little that just the three of us did to help us form a bond that is unique to siblings. In a household full of cousins, aunts and uncles, our circle of relationships was so large that it left no room for a unique place for each other.

Also when I look back I feel that in our teens and early adulthood we had very little emotional ability and dare I say even the motivation to really think about each other at any deep level. If anything, we fought (like most siblings) to have the upper hand in decisions like what movies to go to, what television set to buy and who would have to sacrifice our nice AC room to sleep downstairs under the fan with our grandmother!

But having come to a more mature stage in our lives, where each of us has something of our life-paths sorted out, and a stronger identity that is not just derived from our parents, I feel that we are closer now than we have ever been. Having become individuals we are now finally a group. Even though each of us lives in a different continent and this summer met up after nearly five years, there is a closeness that was not there before.

Having discovered this new bond, I have come to realize that in a world where the traditional family structures are changing radically and social support systems can be often hard to come by, a sibling can be of great comfort. First of all there is the comfort that comes from a long period of shared values and upbringing. I can for example talk to my sister about certain quirks about my parents and she will instantly understand. Where as with a stranger or even my husband that level of empathy will never come. Also with a brother or a sister it is far easier to take criticism and even unsolicited advice. You just know that it is coming from the goodness of their heart and a concern for you. You are not wondering if they are just saying things to be hurtful or to force a choice down your throat.

Technology has made it easy for the three of us to stay in touch. I am a part of my sister’s every day travails with her two little kids and get regular updates as my little brother struggles to start his own business in Australia. For their part they have been able to give their support to me during my current pregnancy and together the three of us are now a far greater source of strength to our parents than before.

So my advice to anyone who reads this- go make that phone call to your brother or sister. You will discover a friendship that is both rewarding and fun and will bring you a lifetime of comfort.

The National Game is worth Rs.1 Crore- that is it!

I had to count the number of zeroes twice! I could not believe that the Indian Hockey Team had needed just that amount to go back to practice and it had actually taken a stand-off to get that money from the sponsor.

I am not even going to compare that amount to the money that is spent on cricket in this country because that comparison is overdone and not valid anymore given the cult following cricket has. I am going to compare it to a sport of the elite and very new to the Indian masses- Golf. A news report recently spoke about how the prize money for the biggest tournament in the country is close to 7 Crores!

So why can’t we get Rs. 1 Crore for our National Game? Who is responsible for preserving the dignity of the game? To me the responsibility lies squarely on the shoulders of the Government. After all Hockey is our national game and as long as it is that and does not have commercial backing, surely it should be propped up the Government. After all if we were not committed to the sport then why did we agree to host the World Cup?

The Government can not absolve itself of this responsibility and when private sector participation is not forthcoming, it must make arrangements for the funds. If not, then own up to it, change the National sport and do not host any more Hockey World Cups.

Whose 1-800 number is on your ULIP?

Today’s column in The Mint by Monica Halan touches a topic close to my heart and warrants a comment, even if it is to spit out what has been bothering me for over a year now.

End of 2008 I quit my job as VP at one of the largest Financial Products distributor in the country. I had spent close to two years at the firm and having worked in Retail and the more exclusive Private Wealth Management group, I had by then seen the whole spectrum of what it takes to get people to give you their money to grow it. Yes, the pitch and the clients in Retail Insurance and Private Wealth Management could not be any more different, but essentially in both cases you are asking someone to believe you that you know of the perfect place for them to park their money and where it can grow.

But that is not where the similarity ends. Both situations are wide open to fraud and sales spin. And this is where my comment on Miss Halan’s column comes in – unlike her I believe that the burden of rectifying this sordid state of affairs cannot rest squarely on the shoulders of the regulatory bodies alone (we have seen what little good audits and checks did in the case of Satyam!). The consumer is not just a victim of the corrupt Distribution system, but also of manufacturer apathy and their own unwillingness to learn. And we must attack all three sources of corruption at once if we are to succeed.

Let us first look at Manufacturer apathy. Distributors are but agents and therefore by definition simply extensions of the corporations that design and manage these financial products ranging from the deceptively simple ULIPs to the certainly more complex derivatives. A Distributor is a distributor whether they are selling you shampoos, cars or in the case a financial product. Just as you would expect that a Toyota would train its dealers to give you accurate information on its cars, as a consumer you should expect that these corporations such as ICICI Prudential, HDFC, Reliance Life Insurance, would ensure that their agents are not mis-selling their products. After all the cheques you write at the time of purchase are made out to these companies and not the agents and also the 1-800 number you see on top of your document is for the manufacturer not the agent! But as an insider let me say- this rarely happens. If a Distributor is showing remarkable sales success, a Relationship Manager from the Manufacturer is happy to “overlook” some of the shortcomings. After all his sales target at the end of the quarter is not going anywhere.

We are underestimating the moral responsibility and also the power that an honest manufacturer can have in correcting and errant distributor. By truly linking incentives to training, regulatory adherence and dedicating resources to regular investigations, a manufacturer can provide the much needed grass roots correction for this problem. And this will happen only the day the Manufacturer realizes that it is ultimately their responsibility to ensure that their product is sold correctly. After all the ULIP I have bought is not an ABC agents’ product but one belonging to ICICI Prudential.

Finally let us not absolve the consumer in all of this. If Indians can spend hours haggling with a vegetable vendor on the quality of a single tomato, why can't they spend a minute questioning the if not irrational but almost unrealistic promises of the sales people touting these instruments? Surely we must take responsibility for the safety of our hard earned money. The recent success of ULIPs as instruments of vestments had much to do with the meteoric rise of the stock market and the innate human trait to want to make a quick buck. Greed has driven us to abandon our better judgement and we must pay the price for it. So let us not treat investments with the same ignorance as we would if we bought medicine from a road-side “khandani dawakhana” set up under a tent and promising to solve all our medical woes overnight.
The manufacturer, consumer and the regulatory bodies must form a holy trinity to kill this devil of false information on financial investments.