What Having a Child Has Taught me (Lessons I Hope I Will not Forget)

To say that having a child is a life changing experience would be like stating the obvious. Akin to having “the sun rises in the East” as the headline of the day’s newspaper! But what I have also realized is that as new parents it is so easy to perceive those changes at just at superficial level and often ignore some of the deeper changes that truly last a lifetime. I mean the night shifts, the diaper struggles and the groggy mornings pass but there are other things that stay with us for a lifetime. Thoughts, behaviors that were not there before the arrival of your little one- or at least that is true for me. So here is my list of things that I believe my baby has taught me life lessons on and how my life has changed in small yet impactful ways.

First of all I have learnt to expect the unexpected. With babies, surprises (and frustrations) are part of the game. Just what you thought would be the easiest thing to handle turns out to be a nightmare and what was supposed to be the hard nut to crack falls so beautifully into place. So the life lesson in this is, let life come to you the way it is. However hard you try there will be things you cannot control, and you will be the happier for letting things play themselves out.

Another important lesson is to accept help when it is offered. The baby has been crying all night and maybe all day. All you can think of is catching a few zee zees, and lo behold your neighbour, or your mother-in-law offers to watch him for a bit. Accept it. You need it. Life lesson in this- as modern women we are supposed to be self-sufficient, taking help we think is like taking an obligation. When really what we are afraid of is accepting a favour because someday we might have to return it. But don’t be afraid of either- taking the favor or returning it in the future. Contrary to what we grew up learning we cannot do everything on our own.

Learn to laugh. Babies love it when you do. But the laughter I am talking of is learning to enjoy life’s little jokes, tricks and even the troubles. See how a baby will laugh at your struggle to open a jammed jar lid, or smile at you after wetting you in splashes of soapy bath water. They do not see distress; they see life and its little interesting twists. Life would be boring if everything ran like clockwork, right?

Patience is a virtue and a boon for both you and your baby. All mothers worry about when the baby will walk, talk, sit and squat. It happens eventually, a month early for some or a month late for the other. And once learnt this lesson should be carried to the rest of your life. How many times have we stressed about things that eventually took care of themselves?

Finally the most important lesson of all is perhaps the ability to love and feel the pain of another. I am sure it has happened to all new mothers. You see a baby, anyone’s baby, in distress and your maternal instincts start firing full throttle. It maybe momentary but you feel like taking care of a child who might be crying, hungry or just looking uncomfortable. I say keep this feeling. Learn to love and feel the pain of others so that you can be a better human being.

With all these lessons your child opens up a new door in your heart, it is up you to make sure it does not shut.