Beyond the Buggy Bregade

There they were, the four of them, walking diligently, braving the brisk monsoon winds, their hands placed firmly on the hands of their individual strollers. My heart skipped a beat. It was not so long ago that I too had been wheeling around Kabir on these very streets just like this. It was an evening ritual that had given much needed respite to both of us. Out of the confines of the apartment, in the open, it was a time for a very different kind of bonding.

I still go down to the same play area with my lil guy but now he is a pre-schooler. There is no stroller for me to push and no handle bar for me to hold on to. He has graduated to the slides, swings and rides. Then why do I still feel like I am holding on to that handle bar of his stroller? Maybe it is not so easy to adopt another role if you have immersed yourself totally into motherhood for so long.

This thought crosses mind very often these days. And each time it leaves me terrified. Terrified at the thought of a transition. And the scariest part is that I have to make the transition myself. No one will be able to do it for me. But maybe here too I can learn from my brave lil boy. Starting school was tough for him. But now he has accepted that new role. He is building a new part of his life where there are people and things in addition to me. He still looks forward to coming back to me once school is over but he also looks forward to school every morning.  He has learnt to be a student and a friend in addition to being my sunny boy. Maybe it is time for me to also become something else. Not something instead of his mother , but something in addition to just being his mother.